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Pakistanis are relatively private people when it comes to dealing with problems. Many will try simply avoiding a situation as opposed to confronting someone about it. They don’t like discussing their problems with other people in public, but would rather have a private, quiet conversation about them (Government of Canada, 2014). Pakistanis appreciate direct and frank discussion, however, they still require others to be polite and understanding. Helping them maintain their honour as much as possible is of utmost importance (Lieven, 2011).
Typically in a village problems between people are not dealt with by the police, but by the local landowners. The landowner of the village is like the father figure and deals with everything from arranging marriages to settling disputes (Constable, 2011). In an interview with a rural farmer Constable (2011) discovered the following:
The landowners were old fashioned, but not cruel. The village was generally peaceful because everyone was from the same baraderi, but if there was serious trouble - a dispute over stray cattle, a robbery, an accident - families always went to the landlord, never to the police. “The landlord takes care of everything, even the smallest problems, but we cannot go against him. At voting time he says who people should vote for, and everyone does,” Rafi explained. Politics, he observed, “is a game for the elites. The people are helpless. We cannot afford to have a different opinion. He can throw us off the land immediately, even if we have been here for fifty years.” (Constable, 2011, pp. 11-12)
The conflict management style amongst Pakistanis tends to be direct and violent, with parents even murdering their own children for disobedience, refusing to marry a selected spouse, or eloping with a lover (Constable, 2011). Strictness is considered a main element in the Pakistani society while making decisions. Any choices or decisions that conflict with Islamic religion or traditional values is unacceptable for people. The male elders generally decide the consequences of behavior and spiritualize any deviance to motivate clans to purge themselves of potential pollution, sometimes through honour killings. Pressure is high in the collectivist society to not cause problems for the family (Constable, 2011). Many have blamed girls who have attempted to stand up for their own rights for ruining villages, and one couple who tried to run away from the problems brought ruin on both sides of their family for their behavior (Constable, 2011).
Typically in a village problems between people are not dealt with by the police, but by the local landowners. The landowner of the village is like the father figure and deals with everything from arranging marriages to settling disputes (Constable, 2011). In an interview with a rural farmer Constable (2011) discovered the following:
The landowners were old fashioned, but not cruel. The village was generally peaceful because everyone was from the same baraderi, but if there was serious trouble - a dispute over stray cattle, a robbery, an accident - families always went to the landlord, never to the police. “The landlord takes care of everything, even the smallest problems, but we cannot go against him. At voting time he says who people should vote for, and everyone does,” Rafi explained. Politics, he observed, “is a game for the elites. The people are helpless. We cannot afford to have a different opinion. He can throw us off the land immediately, even if we have been here for fifty years.” (Constable, 2011, pp. 11-12)
The conflict management style amongst Pakistanis tends to be direct and violent, with parents even murdering their own children for disobedience, refusing to marry a selected spouse, or eloping with a lover (Constable, 2011). Strictness is considered a main element in the Pakistani society while making decisions. Any choices or decisions that conflict with Islamic religion or traditional values is unacceptable for people. The male elders generally decide the consequences of behavior and spiritualize any deviance to motivate clans to purge themselves of potential pollution, sometimes through honour killings. Pressure is high in the collectivist society to not cause problems for the family (Constable, 2011). Many have blamed girls who have attempted to stand up for their own rights for ruining villages, and one couple who tried to run away from the problems brought ruin on both sides of their family for their behavior (Constable, 2011).